The Big Beginning

Let me start off by saying I know next to nothing about anything. 

I’m not wise nor will I be a resource of helpful life tips and spiritual insights. I’m almost certain to give you the wrong advice. I’m terrible at relationships and make all the wrong choices when it comes to dating. This blog will likely annoy you, frustrate you, anger you because this blog isn’t really for you. It’s for me. And really it’s not even for me, it’s about me. It’s about the trials and tribulations of being … well me. Divorced. Dating. (Drunk.) And be warned, I am annoying, frustrating and I’ve definitely done a lot of things that are worthy of anger.

I’m also fun and funny and there are definitely good moments here too … really amazing ones. And maybe they’ll inspire you. I don’t know. To be blunt, I don’t care. I have no motive in writing this other than I feel like I need to write it. To remember. To reflect. To maybe … grow? I figure maybe if I put it all down the pieces will click and I’ll ‘get it’. Doubtful. Or maybe it’s just to get it out, so I don’t have to continually carry it with me, these words, this history, the weight of my mistakes … also the really funny and crazy and embarrassing and magical moments that I just don’t want to forget.

Like I said, it’s not all bad. In fact, there have been some truly incredible moments I’ve experienced, especially since ending my marriage (more on that later) and embarking on a journey of self discovery a la Eat Pray Love (though I feel like my memoir would be titled something a bit crasser than that …). I’d like to say I am a Carrie Bradshaw, about to wow you with little insights about relationships and dating and make you envious with tales of my lifestyle. But .. I’m not. And you won’t be envious of my lifestyle, though I do live in a pretty sweet loft in a hip neighborhood in Dallas.  At times it’s exhilarating. At other times it’s downright exhausting.  

The similarities between Carrie and I end with us being in our 30s and dating incessantly while living in a big city. She was able to see the lessons and wrap them up for her audience. I will likely be unable to do that. There will be some downright cringeworthy moments. Some really shocking ones. Some ridiculously absurd ones. Some that might make you hate me. So that’s what this will be about. It will be rough. I’m not entirely sure it will be well written, though I’ll try. Perhaps you’ll read this. Perhaps only I will read this. I’m honestly kind of terrified my MOM will read this. But still … it needs to be written. This is me. Mistakes and triumphs and crazy and wrecked and all. And I speak this truth, my truth, without shame. 

I can’t promise if you read any of this that you’ll like me or my story or that you’ll get anything at all from it but I can tell you one thing … it won’t be boring. 

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