Door Number 2: Self-love Required


So I had intended to write a Valentine’s day post.

Something about how Valentine’s is BS and you should show love everyday and it’s a dumb holiday and screw all the social media posts from jerks in love, you guys are honestly the worst.

But, like funny … and slightly less bitter than that.

But I didn’t write that post. And also … this isn’t that post. Instead, I’m sharing something my best friend, Ash, wrote about love for our joint blog.

A little intro…. a few years ago, she and I were both divorced and single and happy at the same time. I was ecstatic because we were finally living our Sex and the City single life. And then … she met a great guy. Like a really great guy. Like honestly the perfect kind of guy for her, because I’ll be honest, her standards are high. Not in the ‘he has to make a million dollars and drive a BMW and have a six pack’ kind of way, but in the ‘he has to be willing to do real emotional work and be truly invested in his emotional healing’ kind of way. The real shit.

Ash is in the kind of relationship I hope to find one day. Not perfect, but very honest and beautiful. I have learned so much from watching her grow in this relationship and watching her love her guy and honestly, watching them love each other.

Without further ado, here is Ash with “DOOR NUMBER 2: SELF-LOVE REQUIRED”:


“Do you want out of this?” He gently asked me this morning.  

“What?” I asked as I groggily sat up in bed, eyes crusted with sleep as they opened the first time for the day.

“Do you want out of this with me?  Our relationship?” he responded, head hanging low.

This morning, of all mornings… it is Valentine’s Day.

Not that, that particular detail bothered me.  I am not a sucker for these types of holidays. I find it even a little frustrating that we choose a social day to display to the person we are with, that we love, care or cherish them.  I am of the camp that in a relationship, kindness love and gratitude for that person shouldn’t need to have a dedicated day – but should be experienced almost daily within the relationship.

I understood why he was asking, though.  I already knew before he sat down at the edge of the bed to explain further.  

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